Would YOU Choose YOU?
I hope everyone has had a fantastic first week of 2018 thus far! Today's Motivation Monday is dedicated to self-assessment!
Throughout our lives, we are continuously tested and assessed on a variety of conditions, skills, and abilities. When we were babies, we were consistently monitored for our growth both physically and intellectually. As we got older, we were tested on a variety of skills to determine if we were meeting intellectual parameters. We were continuously told NO by our parents as our curiosity grew faster than we did. We may have played sports, gymnastics or danced ballet where we continually did our best to gain cheers and status amongst our teammates, parents, and coaches. In school, we took a variety of tests that gave an insight of our learning capabilities to teachers and parents. We began to feel attracted to a particular other in where we did our best to catch their eye or at the very least look wholly relaxed around them not to give a hint of our feelings away. We may have done our best to be "the chosen" one for that person. We may done our best in the SAT's and applied to college and hope to be amongst the chosen for that particular school. We may have interviewed countless times with prospective employers in hopes to be selected and land the job. After a year or two, we did our best to demonstrate our abilities to our bosses to be chosen for the next salary raise, etc...
Do you see the trend? We spend years not only being assessed but also figuring out how to be "the chosen one." These last few examples are of us aiming at having an external party choose us (such as our bosses choosing us for a better paying position). However, have you ever stopped to think if YOU would choose YOU? Let's dive deeper into this thought.
We are continually assessing others throughout our lifetime. Why not hold ourselves accountable to the same standards we expect from others. Why choose the best we can choose and not be the best version of our continually changing roles we can be?
A few years ago, searching for a career path after graduating from Rutgers University, I began a practice a self-evaluation technique by asking myself one question. 'Would I choose me?" or "Would I hire me?".
For example, as a career firefighter in NJ, I do my best to be a role model firefighter for my department, for my fellow firefighters and the younger generation of firefighters joining the ranks. I facilitate this by continually asking myself, "if I was a Fire Chief and looking to hire the next ideal firefighter, would I hire me for this role?". In this manner, I assess my current work ethic and ability against what I would consider an ideal firefighter. If any of my actions would place me in the "I would not hire anyone who did that or acted that way" category, then chances are I would not do that specific action or act that particular way.
I'm always asking myself these questions for everything I do. From my career as a firefighter to a leader in my fitness community and even in the personal relationship with my girlfriend and as a father to my daughter. I measure myself against what I would choose as the ideal candidate for that role. Again, I regularly ask myself "Would I choose me? Would I hire me?", if any of my answers come up as a "No," I will change whatever it is I need to change to make that answer a "Yes."
Here are a few examples of how to practice this self-assessment technique:
Work Ethic: If I was the CEO of this company, would I hire me/ someone like me? Would I choose me over other employees based on my work ethic, dedication, and consistency?
Relationships: If I was him/her, would I choose me as an ideal partner? Would I select myself to be the one to begin a relationship with/ family with/ marriage with? Would I pick me if I were them?
Leadership: If I was a team member, would I follow me as a leader? Would I look up to a leader like me? Would I be motivated and inspired by a leader like me? Would I choose a leader like me to follow to the end?
Parenthood: Am I the father/mother that I would have liked to have? Am I the ideal parent? Would I look up to a father/mother like me? Would I be able to count on a parent like me? If I were my child, would I look up to me and be inspired and feel protected? Would I learn quality, positive life lessons from a parent like me? Would I have liked to have a parent such as myself?
Business partnerships: If I was my business partner, would I choose a partner like me to work on a business together? Would I trust a partner like me? Would I be able to count on a person like me?
This year focus on becoming a better you by measuring your actions against your own beliefs. We have gone through many years learning through experience on what is ideal, average and bad. We know how we would categorize exemplary actions of leaders, employees, parents, and parties in relationships. Assess yourself based on your ideal action beliefs and improve yourself from the inside out. Let's focus on becoming better every day and continuously ask yourself, "Would I Choose Me."